BookLust

Festivus!

So I get back yesterday, and what's the first thing I do when I'm all settled in? Why, phone the box office for the Toronto International Festival of Authors and order tickets, of course! I'm gonna get to see Chip Kidd, Andrea Levy and Art Spiegelman! This is just too much culture for one girl to take.

So I'm on the phone, speaking to the ticket guy, and this is part of our conversation:

ME: Oh, and I'd like to order a ticket to see Art Spiegelman, please.

TICKET GUY: Ok, but um... we have to inform you that Mr. Spiegelman will be smoking during the interview.

ME: So? Hell, he could be naked sitting on a toilet for all I care!

TICKET GUY: Uh.... will that be all ma'am?

So like, what does it take to get those guys to laugh? I bet plenty of people would pay good money to see Art Spiegelman talk about his work while sitting naked on a toilet. And smoking to boot.

Toodles

I'm off tomorrow for a mini-vacation to South Hampton. Shall catch up on reading and drinking, both of which of late I have sadly fallen behind in. Will return Wednesday evening. Perhaps I will have a cheque or two in my mailbox by then?

An Important Announcement

We apologize for the interruption.

This notice is directed to all the various clients whom I have done work for, but have not bothered to pay me in a timely fashion.

Dear people. I am running a business. Not a hobby, not a charity, not a whim. Like you, I have bills to pay, and for some bizarre reason, these bill collectors don't give a rats ass if I can't get my clients to pay me for work I have done.

So the message is clear. Pay me. NOW. I've waited long enough. It's amazing how you all seem to have "administration problems".

And to any future clients who may want to try and pull this one on me, DON'T.

Thank you. You may now resume whatever.

Letter to Posy Simmonds

Dear Ms. Simmonds:
(Or may I call you Posy?)

I adore you. Your drawings are pure delight. You are clever, witty, and just so darn talented. You have my dream job, you realize that, don't you? Drawing literary folk and bookstore folk on a regular basis all with that wry British sense of humour of yours. I look at your work and I laugh, and then I cry. Why can't I do that? Ahhh... but there's only one Posy.

They mentioned you over at Bookninja, but I discovered you about a year ago, and it's been a heavenly romance ever since. I bought your book Literary Life, even though it was damned expensive. Do you have more books? I'll buy them all. I don't care.

Posy, you're the bomb.

Love,
me.

Mambo Italiano!

So this morning I was checking out my stats when I saw this one link that said something about a translator, so I said Huh? When I clicked on it, this is what I got.

It's all in Italian!! Is that cool or what? It didn't even occur to me that blogs could be read in other languages. Guess I'm behind the times.

You have no idea how happy this makes me feel. I love the Italian language. So rich, so luscious, so romantic. An Italian could tell you "I just shit my pants" and it would still sound like music.

Now all I need to really make my day is to find my blog translated into Yiddish. I don't need to tell you that I'd be a little verklempt.

Gettin' All Squirelly With It

Ok, this is serious. Do you know what your squirrel name is? You should know. You could be asked to reveal it next time you cross the border, so you better have it handy. And rumour has it that knowing your squirrel name will also get you into some pretty crazy parties.

Well I'm ready. Say hello to Bushy Wagglebottom.

TrenDESIGN 5

I've been a bad poster lately. Too much freelance work. Which is obviously not a bad thing.

Your latest TrenDESIGN.....

Huh?

Is it just me, or does Zach Braff look like the long lost son of Ray Romano?

I know, I know, must be a slooooooooow day.

Church Lady

Yeah, that would be my Mom. She's become very involved in her Anglican church in the past few years; she's even the church librarian!! You gotta love that. This week she asked me to whip up some posters for various church events; she didn't want anything fancy, but I decided to rise to the challenge (hey, it's for God, right? Can't shirk too much when you're working for the man!)

At first she wanted me to draw St. Paul on one of her posters, 'cuz ol' Paul is her fave saint apparently, but I reminded her that the name of her church is St. Luke's, so like, I think Luke gets to be in the centre square.

I'm actually drawing saints in some of my freelance work that I am presently doing (more on that at a later date) so I think I know a thing or two about drawings saints. Or not. I think my St. Luke looks like a poser, actually. Who knows? Maybe he was. Getting canonized would make any humble dude a bit full of themselves, don't ya think?

Fall in Love all over again...

Pssssst.... can you feel it? There's something in the air – it's just a whisper now, but soon, very soon, it will shake you up and knock you over with its raucous laughter.

I always think of Fall as the feisty but reliable friend; perhaps she laughs too loud at parties, but she'll always be there in a pinch when life gets bittersweet; not like that flighty Summer, who only cares about how you look in a mini-skirt. And like any good friend, Fall will rejuvinate your heavy soul, for isn't this season all about new beginnings? Goody-two-shoes that I was, I couldn't wait for school to start, and smell all those familiar smells: old desks, pink erasers, chalk dust, rotting carpets. And all those new books that come out during this season! Just thinking about it puts me in a tizzy.

Fall is all those old clichés: cool breezes, long walks, cozy sweaters and hot tea. The first time I fell in love was in the Fall, and every year around this time my heart lurches, thinking about that wonderful and wretched time in my life, so very long ago.

Fall is my time, my season. My heart soars in anticipation of its arrival.