Kid Lit Spice?

Sweet Jesus, when will it end? Geri Halliwell is set to release a series of children's books. And apparently the protagonist is based on that nasty Posh Spice. 'Cuz that's what kids should be learnin' about, folks!

The series follows a schoolgirl called Ugenia Lavender, who shares Geri's red hair and striking blue eyes, and has a talent for solving mysteries.

She describes Ugenia as "flawed, demanding and obnoxious" but adds that she "cares about the world she lives in".

Posh Vatoria, created with Victoria's blessing, intimidates the flame-haired heroine in one story by arriving at a party in a limousine.

So...just off the top of my head...here's a list of celebrities who have penned kids books:

Maddona
Katie Couric
Jamie Lee Curtis
Ed Koch
Julie Andrews
John Lithgow
Jerry Seinfeld
Tiki and Ronde Barber
James Carville
Jay Leno
Maria Shriver
Sarah Ferguson
Spike Lee
Jane Seymour
John Travolta
Billy Crystal
Whoopie Goldberg
Jimmy Carter

Someone. Please. Make. It. Stop.

Comments

[Kerry]

Though it must be said that Jamie Lee Curtis's are significantly less terrible than the rest. And that Madonna's were so much worse.

[kimbofo]

I agree. But does anyone really believe Gerri's penned these books herself?

[Kailana]

Some author books are not that bad. John Lithgow's books seem to be very highly read.

[Beth]

So, I guess if I ever want that old children's story I wrote to be published, I should become a celebrity first.
Like that's gonna happen.

And I don't care how good some of these celebrity books are - there have got to be thousands of equally good ones out there written by unknowns.

But publishers insist on producing a "sure" sell. It's all about the $$$. Of course. Yes, that makes sense but still...

[Luc]

Yeah, this is pretty tragic. More tragic than the time I found John Lithgow's mini-books in my box of Cheerios.

[Bernita]

"Ugenia"?
Arruuugh!

[Stephanie]

Also George Foreman, Will Smith, Shaq, Dar Williams

[JCR]

Please don't forget to add to your list that famous professional wrestler, Ox Baker... http://thelegendaryoxbaker.com/
He's definately one I want my kids to read... not.

[carpentergirl]

I'm just waiting for Rush Limbaugh to write one.

[Isabella]

We have one by Micky Dolenz (The Monkees), a gift, which isn't as bad as I expected to be. But some of them (most?) are awful.

[bookbabie]

...depressing...

[davidbdale]

Hey Patricia! I really need to check in more often. Just this one page of yours has so much to offer today, between the Yam book and this very rantalicious forum about celebrity children's books, your own Budget cartoon, the lovely orchesta drawings, it's a smorgasbord! Thanks for the good times. If you promise to keep 'em coming, I promise to be better about comin' back!

[patricia]

Hey right back at ya, Mr. davidbdale! I'm afraid I haven't spent enough time recently reading many blogs, including yours! (Mea culpa!!)

Thanks for the kind words!

[Brian]

I guess it's just a matter of time before Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton write one. I'm sure glad my kid's all growed up.
And, yeah, I'm not a blog person, but I'm really getting addicted to Booklust. Damn you, Patricia!!!

[cipriano]

I'm with you L'il Gapper of Frip!
I read one of the Lithgow ones, [it was in the Honey-Nut Cheerios box, did you see that promotion?].... and it was not very good. Something about a kangaroo.
Gloria Estefan has written one, too. It comes with a CD of her singing a song, based on the book, based on her dog.
Know who I would actually LIKE to see write a children's book?
WILL FERRELL.
As long as he does not strip down to his underwear in it....

[patricia]

Funny you should mention Will Ferrell, Cip...'cuz I recently found out that his pal Jimmy Fallon has written a children's book! Lord give me strength!!

[Becky]

Add Rhea Perlman to the list.

[gentle reader]

The actor Bob Balaban wrote a children's series about a dog detective...not terrible, but not great either--overwritten, actually.
I'm with Bernita: Ugenia, ugh!

[Coll B. Lue]

Girl power to Geri if she makes it alongside Enid Blyton!