So apparently Rebecca Eckler and Erica Ehm are collaborating on a children's book, to be called Mischievous Moms, and to be published by Key Porter. Ahem.
As much as it pains me to wrap my mind around that news, I cannot wait to review this little Canadian celebrity gem. Meeeeeowwww!!
Ok, it's about time I do one of these BACA Off! reviews, don't ya think?. Thanks again to Mother Reader for the inspiration! I decided to start with a name that I figure most people know of, Jamie Lee Curtis, former teen scream movie star, and now popular picture book author. I've actually wanted to read one of her picture books for a while now, because I had heard over the years that she is supposed to be one of the good celebrity children's authors. So is she good? Hmmmmm....
I chose Curtis' first book, When I Was Little: A Four-Year-Old's memoir of Her Youth, which was published in 1993 by HarperCollins. The book is illustrated by Laura Cornell. My honest gut reaction when I read the title of the book? A little bit of eye-rolling. Contrived clever titles like that just annoy me. Not off to a good start. Also part of that annoyance is the fact that this book is obviously set up to "teach" a child all about personal identity. In fact, if you go to the book list of Curtis' site, you can see that each of her books has been written with a little "lesson" in mind, be it the subject of Family and Belonging, Imagination and Loss, or Self Esteem. Reading these descriptions makes me throw up a little.
The writing is nothing spectacular. It is, shall we say – competent. Curtis basically lists all the different things that a little girl couldn't do or wasn't aware of when she was little, and then how she has mastered so much now that she is sooooo much older. Some examples:
When I was little, I had silly hair. Now I can wear it in a ponytail or braids or pigtails or a pom-pom. [I dunno. This description really bugs me. What the hell does she mean about silly hair?]
When I was little, I rode in a baby car seat. Now I ride like a grown-up and wave at policemen. [Apparently this description got some complaints from mothers on the Amazon site, since a four-year-old kid should obviously still be sitting in the back, in a car seat. I'm amazed the editors missed this one. Maybe Britney Spears can use this book in her defense].
When I was little I ate goo and yucky stuff. Now I eat pizza and noodles and fruit and Chee-tos. [I'm gonna sound like a real stick-in-the-mud here, but was it really necessary to have the product placement? And actually the mention of Chee-tos was another thing that cheezed off some of the mothers on Amazon. Heh. Cheezed Off. Aren't I funny? Maybe I should write children's books. After I get into acting in movies, that is].
Overall, the book didn't thrill me. There really is no story here to grab me. Absolutely no imagination in the writing. And I have my doubts that it's the kind of thing that little kids would get into, either. It's the kind of thing that parents think their kids should read. I'll tell you what kids will like about this book. The illustrations. They are delightful. Full of energy, and so cute and colourful. Had Jamie Lee Curtis not had such a talented illustrator, this book would have been a stinker, in my opinion. And that's one thing I have noticed a lot with celebrity children's authors. They (or their publishers) have enough sense to pick a very talented illustrator who can, quite frankly, carry the weight of the book. Because nine times outta ten, the writing on it's own, just won't do it.
When it comes to picture books, I guess I'm a bit of a grump. Or maybe it's that I'm still able to read picture books the same way I read them when I was a kid. I always looked for funny, snappy writing, an engaging story, and great pictures. I was usually drawn to picture books with very strong characters. Books like Harry The Dirty Dog, Or Curious George or anything by Dr. Seuss. I'm willing to bet big money that kids do not want to be taught a lesson when they read a picture book. They want to be entertained. And if they are entertained, they will discover how much fun reading can be, and they will continue to read.
When I was little, I would have stayed the hell away from this book.
Recently I discovered a pretty cool blog which focuses on kid and YA lit. It's called MotherReader, and the blog's author is smart and funny and has great taste in books. But you wanna know why I really think MotherReader is cool? Because a while back she wrote some amazing posts all about – guess what – the saturation of horrible celebrity children's authors in the kid's publishing market. There are many reasons to be pissed off about this disgusting trend, but MotherReader nailed it when she wrote:
I could complain about the quality of the work. Oh boy, could I complain. But what’s sticking in my craw is the greed. Come on, leave us our little bit of turf. If you can be famous (and usually rich) in your field of acting or music or global domination, leave the world of children’s literature for other people to become a tiny bit famous. Because you can imagine, for every book deal these celebrities strike, that’s less of the kid-lit pie for another author trying to get a break. Do celebrities have to be so greedy to take every aspect of everything because they can? Is that a good enough reason? It’s not... it’s just not... fair.
But MotherReader didn't just sit back and kvetch. She got off her tuchas and did something constructive. And so began the creation of a new an exciting club of which I wanna be a member: BACA, or Bloggers Against Celebrity Books:
As BACA members, we will strive to shun celebrity authors in the blogging world. When a non-celebrity illustrator deserves to be recognized, the BACA member may wish to consider the “Spike Lee Who?” option. For instance, a blogger might note the exceptional work of Kadir Nelson by pointing out the availability of the book Please, Puppy, Please “as illustrated by Kadir Nelson and written by some guy.” We will, as members, avoid giving undue publicity to celebrity authors, with the possible allowance of subjecting said celebrity authors to scorn and ridicule.
Wanna join? 'Cuz she's even created a fabulous logo, which you see at the top of the post. I am so in, baby. And as a way to show my appreciation for the cause, I've created a new category entitled BACA Off, Baby! where I will review a book written by a celebrity author. I promise that I will do my best to be fair and reasonable. If I think the book is good (which I doubt will happen too often), I will begrudgingly say so. But I'll still kvetch about that celebrity taking precious publishing space away from a much more deserving struggling children's author. I think that's fair! Of course if the book is blessed with gorgeous illustrations, I'll be singing the praises of that artist loud and proud. Because nine times outta ten, it's the goddam illustrations that sell those goddam celebrity books.
So to all you celebrities out there who happen to be considering writing a children's book in the near future: BACA OFF!!
